Unanticipated Consequences when Things Actually go to Plan ...
As applied to navigating a theme park
It was the last week of summer, and we had one final adventure to go before focusing on back to school shopping: Six Flags over Georgia.
Confession: I’m not a huge theme park gal. I’m more of a sit-on-the-couch-with-a-cuppa-tea-and-a-British-comedy type of gal. I know how to live large.
If it had only been up to me, I would have skipped the park entirely and focused on cleaning out the closets I never got to in the spring, reading the novels I hadn’t yet cracked, or getting some valuable work done on my secret writing project. I think I got my personal fill of long lines, overpriced food, and hours of walking in sweltering conditions back in highschool. (And let’s not forget the two hours of sitting in your grimy clothes on the way home. That’s always delicious.)
HOWEVER, two of my children had never been to a theme park in their lives. And the others had not set foot in one in over half a decade. So … I could be a trooper for one day. After all, there’s something thrilling about hurtling through the air without real risk of bodily harm. It’s a good growing-up experience, and one we were in a position to give to our kids.
And I thought I had a brilliant plan to maximize our ride time while minimizing our wait time.
The plan was simple: arrive when the gates opened, go to the OPPOSITE end of the park, then ride all the rides in quick succession without waiting in line until the crowds caught up with us.
The plan worked, but unfortunately resulted in some (now funny) unanticipated consequences.
For starters, it’s been about twenty years since I’ve last ridden a roller coaster. Certain things — like my preference for equilibrium in general and the number of G’s my body can withstand in particular — had changed. While the long lines had seemed so bothersome as a teenager, perhaps they served to give one’s body a chance to settle down between excursions. But because of my brilliant plan (doh!), my body got no such respite.
I lasted four rides.
Maybe I should’ve have skipped the round-about swirly swings (moving horizontally). Or the Joker loop-de-loop (moving vertically). Or maybe I should have spoken more assertively about getting some Sprite before the next coaster. At the very least, I should probably have skipped the yogurt in the car for breakfast. Because when I finished my fourth coaster, there was only one thought blaring between my ears:
I had exactly 37 seconds to find a trash can.
Now, it’s one thing to get sick. It’s another thing to get sick in public. But the absolute worst thing is to get sick in public all over yourself or someone else. Worst! Worst! Worst! (I have done all three, so I know.)
I was half praying/half pleading I wouldn’t toss my cookies on the path. Thankfully, God was kind. I found a bin in the nick of time and — despite the other thrill-seekers snickering as they passed by — felt so relieved to not have puked all over myself. A merciful attendant handed me several paper towels and gave me a cup of ice. And as soon as the rest of my family caught up with me, we bought that Sprite.
While it’s wise to make plans for the future, sometimes we put too much stock in them. Unlike God, we are not omniscient. We cannot possibly prepare for every single scenario. Neither can we anticipate every unintended consequence when our plans actually do come to pass.
Where does this leave us? Should we throw our hands up with a “damned if we do, damned if we don’t” attitude and just live for the moment?
No, but having humility in our planning and being flexible even when things go sideways will better tether us to reality and help us cope when our plans must shift.
Ultimately, we are not in control of most things — which in my case would also include the effects of a roller coaster ride on my non-teenage body. Thankfully, Someone else is holding all things together, and I take comfort in that.
So how did the rest of the Six Flags adventure go?
I’m happy to report it went well. I did not ride every single ride I could. I even cat-napped while the kids ran around the water park with Jason. And I insisted we keep refilling the Sprite and take the lowkey train between coasters at one point. But by the end of the day, even with the grimy clothes at the end of it all, things had gone (mostly) to plan, and the kids had had a blast.
Do I want to do it again one day next summer?
Well … there’s a good chance my closets may need some urgent organization on that day …
We shall see. ;)
It's nice to remember God's in control, even when things go as we planned! Ha ha!